My Empty Sac

I know that some of you never knew I was pregnant,
Others of you found out when I was merely 3 weeks along.
We were so excited to be pregnant without even having to try,

And the boys were STOKED to be big brothers!

My first US at 5 1/2 weeks showed a nice sac, and nice HCG levels.
I was sooooo excited for my 8 week US.
I had been having TERRIBLE morning sickness, and everyone was saying:
Girl! or Twins!
I was crossing my fingers for both.
We went in, and things hadn't changed much from my 5 1/2 week exam.
My HCG was rising like crazy, but still, no baby was seen.
My midwife said: Blighted Ovum
What does that mean?
Though my baby stopped growing at 5 weeks, my body hadn't recognized it,
it just kept growing and producing hormones like everything was ok.
But, my little one wasn't ok.
In fact, it hadn't even made it as far as a fetus, just cells, or even less.
We were heart broken to say the least.
My midwife said to give it 2 more weeks to try and grow.
The dreaded 2 week wait.
Longest. 2. Weeks. Of. My. Life.
The 10 week US finally came, and confirmed our fears.
I was completely done having morning sickness for no reason, and opted for a medically induced miscarriage.
That was last Thursday.
That day sucked.

I got 100's and 1,000's of prayers, good thoughts, and concerns from everyone that I love,

and from people that I never expected.
It was. AMAZING.
To say the least.
Friday, I woke up sick free!
I thought, WOW! I finally feel good!
I miss having my little one with me, but I know that things were just not meant to be.
I think my babe tried to come down from heaven, but the body it tried to enter was much too sick to grow.
I know that he/she or they are still waiting up there to join our family.

I know a lot of you were worried about me.
I feel good, I promise.
And, I feel really, really positive about the future.
I admit, it is a little rough to be around pregnant girls, and I have A LOT surrounding me.
But, I am so grateful that things are going nice and healthy with them.

Here is some US pics to help explain what we saw:

This is what a normal 8 week ultrasound looks like:
See that little gummy bear inside?


And this is what mine looked like:

Empty. With a small, empty yolk sac.

Looks lonely doesn't it?

*sigh*

Again, I can't TELL you how amazed I am by all of the kind words you all gave me.
I have never felt so loved and cared for.
It made me realize that I never have to worry about ANYTHING,
because I always have you there for me.

Thank you everyone, from the very bottom of our hearts.
(and think lot's of healthy baby thoughts for our future!)

I'll never forget you little one, and the short time we spent together